The Other “B” Word…

March 17, 2014 at 12:47 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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Credit: #BanBossy

Credit: #BanBossy

Commentary by Callie Crossley, host, “Under The Radar with Callie Crossley”
Originally broadcast on WGBH Radio, 89.7 – March 17, 2014

Girls start to hear it in their early years, and women hear it all their lives. The b word. No, not that one, b for bossy, the other equally offensive b word.

Little girls who are assertive are called bossy, little boys, leaders.  Research confirms that between elementary and high school, girls self esteem drops 3 and half times more than boys. Girls seem to worry that asserting themselves will make them seem bossy, even as they are less likely to be called on in class, and more likely to be interrupted. Evidence is they self censor, move themselves out of leadership roles, and eventually silence their voices in an effort to be liked.

Now a high profile campaign—called ban bossy– is aimed at changing that. Leading ban bossy–Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO, and founder of the nonprofit organization, and Anna Maria Chavez, CEO of Girl Scouts of the USA. Writing in the Wall Street Journal earlier this month, the two recounted being branded bossy early on. In elementary school one of Sandberg’s teachers told her friend to stay away from her because “nobody likes a bossy girl.” Chavez remembers telling her playmates that she wanted to lead their game, and being told, “ you are really bossy Anna.” Both women point to evidence that shows labeling diminishes how girls and women see themselves as leaders, and equally important, how others dismiss their leadership abilities.

By the time these ‘bossy’ girls become women, they are regularly assaulted by an arsenal of jagged verbal stones, which include stubborn, difficult, angry, pushy, aggressive, and the all-encompassing bad attitude. Verbal assailants also use profanity as a weapon; they attack using the other b word former first lady Barbara Bush famously described as rhyming with witch.

Being called bossy could have shaken my sense of self, but I was lucky to come from a long line of women who were not easily cowed, and taught me to stand up and speak up. My mother, grandmother, aunts, and cousins celebrated women’s leadership, as did my Dad. He married the outspoken woman he wanted his two daughters to be.

High profile women, including three world leaders, two Supreme Court Justices and A list entertainers have helped the ban bossy campaign go viral.  Superstar Beyoncé’s empowering message  “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.”

Add my name to the more than 100 thousand who’ve have taken the pledge. These last weeks of women’s history month, let’s honor the girls and women — now formerly known as bossy, with new words– audacious, brave, bold, confident. Ban bossy. Pass it on.


Screen shot 2014-03-17 at 1.42.59 PMCallie Crossley is the host of Under the Radar with Callie Crossley, which airs on Sunday evenings from 6:30 to 7 p.m. on WGBH, 89.7 FM. Crossley was formerly the host of the daily mid-day radio program, The Callie Crossley Show, which aired on WGBH 89.7FM for 2 1/2 years for which she was the host/executive editor.

Crossley is also a public speaker and television and radio commentator for national and local programs. She is a regular contributor on National Public Radio’s The Takeaway and Fox 25 Boston’s Morning Show, and she often guests on CNN’s Reliable Sources and PBS NewsHour. Crossley appears weekly on WGBH-TV’s Beat the Press, a media criticism program that examines local and national media coverage, and Basic Black, a public affairs show focusing on current events and cultural issues concerning black communities. Ms. Crossley was a producer for Eyes on the Prize: America’s Civil Rights Years, the critically acclaimed documentary series, which earned her an Oscar nomination and major film and journalism awards, including a National Emmy and a DuPont-Columbia Gold Baton Award, considered the Pulitzer Prize of broadcast journalism.

Crossley has been awarded two Harvard Fellowships: a Nieman fellowship and a fellowship at the Institute of Politics at the John F. Kennedy School of Government. She is a graduate of Wellesley College, and holds an honorary Doctor of Arts degree from Pine Manor College and an honorary Doctor of Humane Letters degree from Cambridge College.

She was one of the six women in 2011 to receive the Girl Scouts of Eastern Massachusetts’ Leading Woman Award. She is also one of 125 women featured in the 2011 book “Boston, Inspirational Women,” photographs by Bill and Kerry Brett, text by Carol Beggy.


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